I have gone through a lot of changes this year, and it’s only June. I have done some on purpose, and some because that’s what life has handed me. I have learned some important lessons and realized that some things are not worth holding on to anymore.
I have made som changes for the better, and some have been learning experiences. I have changed jobs twice, and finally got to go back to the company that I love. I know that this is direct blessing from God, because I felt the best when I was there. The job changes brought on a change that was unexpected, but much needed.
I was forced to re-evaluate how I was eating, living, and exercising. I was not taking care of myself, and this was brought to my attention after a minor health scare. I realized that I am getting old and it’s not something you can put off forever. I have joined a gym and actually started to go. I have looked at what I am eating, and stopped eating foods that are unhealthy, that I am allergic to, and that aren’t helping my situation. I have done these slowly and with the help of my husband. I have to keep reminding myself that things will get better.
I encourage everyone to look around before 2018 gets away from us anymore and make changes for the better. Look at your eating habits, look at your mental state, clean out you closet both physically and emotionally, and use the last half of the year to grow for yourself.
Relationships are the basis of our social structures. You have relationships with most everyone… they cane be categorized as many different things from stranger, friend, lover, spouse, partner, enemy, or what ever you classify a person as they are subconsciously classified as something.
All relationships are work even if it is as a stranger. You have to work on knowing, not knowing, or forgetting everyone. They are work in some capacity in one way or another, and some are much more work than others. The ones that are closer to you can be harder on you because you grow to care for the person. You care deeply in either a good or a bad way and that creates a bond.
The bond is what makes you want to spend more time with or away from the person. You go through ups or downs in every relationship, but they must be understood by both parties. You have to work at making it work by taking time to see the other person, talking/listening to them, and giving/taking equally. A one-sided relationship doesn’t last very long at all, and some times doesn’t even get past the stranger stage. We all need to work on these things in life.
I know that I have had people fall out of my life because either me, them or both of us just didn’t try anymore. I know that I still miss them at times, and that’s a sad reality that we just don’t take time for people in our lives anymore. I am making it a point to become better at my relationships with others so that I can experience the fullness of knowing someone that can benefit me and help me grow in life; and help them in the same way.
I don’t know about you, but I have a lot of anger issues. I get upset with traffic, with people, and with myself. I have taken time lately to work on this and help myself. I have started to look a deeper reasons for being angry at little things. I have instead started to smile or shake my head when things happen, but continue to move on. I don’t want to have something control me like that. I am a slow work in progress, but it’s worth it.
Anger is something that happens to everyone for different or some times the same reasons. Everyone gets angry, but not everyone lets it control you. You have to work on these things. I have had to work on not getting angry at people. I have come to the realization that some people just have no concept of others… either by spacial, social, or consciously. I used to get so upset if someone walked in my way, took forever to do something, or just not paying attention, but it’s not worth it. I can’t get upset over these things because you don’t know what the other person is doing or going through.
I no longer want angry to have it’s hold over me. I do wish that people would become aware of their surroundings, but I won’t become angry about it to the point where it controls me. It’s just not worth it, plus you miss some amazing things that it going on around you.
I am honestly struggling right now… not having a job is scary, but self-doubt is a much bigger monster. I know who and what I am, but doubts can make you feel like the opposite of anything that you are. When you get down do something that reminds you of how awesome you really are.
I am believer in Christ, and I know that means that I serve him and not this world… and in these days that gives me great comfort. The world is only getting worse, and I know that it’s not a place I want to be much longer.
The times are changing… for the worse. We have to march for basic rights, for love, to not be hurt while doing the right things, and it’s getting to be disheartening. I saw a story about how people were dead from an accident and my first thought was ‘well, at least they don’t have to be around to see how much worse it can get’… and that’s a sad thought. We should want to be alive, having new experiences, and enjoying ourselves without looking over our shoulder, automatically worrying if someone is going to gun us down when we go about our daily lives, or if we are going to be profiled for just being ourselves.
I think that the only thing that gets me through most days is the thought that God does in fact love me, and I know that no matter what happens in this world that we are going somewhere better. We are love and while, yes, bad things do happen… it’s not going to be the end.
I woke up this morning, and realized that I didn’t have to get ready for work. I realized that I didn’t have any plans. I realized that I had no idea what I was doing… and it was scary, but it was also exciting.
I have often heard that if your dreams don’t scare you then they aren’t big enough. I don’t think that quitting my job from an abusive boss was exactly a dream, but more of an idea that I wanted to be happy in my job. You don’t have to work somewhere that has any form of abuse, just because it pays well. I know that money isn’t everything, but it was solidified for me this week… and that might be the thing that scares me the most.
I was given the reminder that money doesn’t buy happiness. I had the thought float through my head…could I work for less than I used to? Could I work and actually be happy? Could I work and not stress on my days off that I got everything done? I thought all these questions and much more… and I got happy. I was happy at the idea that this is a new start for me. I could do something else… something new… something that paid less, but also stressed less.
So… exciting is scary, but it’s still scary. I have been putting out applications, and now I just wait on God’s will… that’s also exciting and scary to see what could be next.
I have just done something so freeing… I quit my well paying job. I have no idea what the future holds, and hopefully it will be revealed quickly. I have no prospects, but the idea of working for an abusive boss isn’t something that I could do anymore.
I wanted to be successful, but I don’t think that I can do it as my own expense. I know that bills will pile up, things won’t go right, and I will get job rejections, but God has a plan… that I know for sure. I won’t let myself be told I am stupid, that I can’t do my job, or anything else that makes me doubt myself or my future.
We worry about so much stuff, and all it really comes down to is that it’s what we are told we need to worry about. I used to worry about my job, my car, my clothes… and then I realized that I can’t do that. I am so worried about what life tells me to worry about that I have missed the point of living… which is to enjoy that which is around you. I don’t want a job that makes me take home stress… I want a job that lets me enjoy life.
I have noticed that this isn’t a thing much anymore… no one wants to take responsibility, but everyone will hold others accountable. I don’t like this… I feel that we should all take responsibility for the things that we do. We don’t live in a world where someone else controls you… and if they do you need to take a look at your life. We weren’t created to be slaves to others, but to ourselves. We need to accept when we do something if it’s to the good or the bad. I see a lot of people wanting change, but no one will take on the responsibility to start this change. I think that if we start to do this then things will change. You cannot go around blaming others for your problems, your days, or anything… it’s up to you what you do so own it… even if it’s a bad one. You will be better because of it.