I have had some very interesting and eye opening experiences in the last 48 hours that make me see the good and bad sides of humanity. I was frustrated and upset that people can see something horrible happen and do nothing but stare. I wish that people would try and put themselves in the persons place and understand that if the same thing was happening to them that they would probably want privacy.

Bad things happen in life… to everyone. Change and bad things are the only constants in life. I know that this is the one thing that everyone shares. We all have these experiences and in those moments we want people to be there, to comfort us, or to help us. The moments that happen are when you hope for the best in humanity.

I saw the best in humanity as well. I had people offer to help with the situation. I had people respect privacy, and understand that they didn’t need to be there at that moment. I wish that more people would understand that this is the appropriate response to the majority of bad things that happen. I understand curiosity… but have some fucking respect. I know that there when come a moment when you are going to want that same respect.

I have realized while dealing with this that even though bad things happen it’s all in how you deal with it. I want to be that respectful person in all bad situations and hopefully help others to understand to do the same.



I had an interesting experience at work today and it made me realize that a lot of people only focus on the negatives. We are used to so many bad things being around that we only notice them. We need to focus on the positives in life to make it better not only for ourselves, but for others. I have heard that we need to be the change we want to see in this world… well, lets start with positives.

You are not a tree…

I was once told that you can do anything you set your mind to… and I believed it. I always thought that I could, until I grew up and realized that it comes with consequences. The consequences are what usually stops us from doing what we want or what we desire.

I want to find happiness. I want to be free. I want to do whatever I want… and I can, but it comes with consequences. They can be good or bad, but they still happen with every decision or action you take. I want a million dollars, but robbing a bank has negative consequences. I want to be thinner, so eating better has positive consequences. The consequences are what make up most of our lives. They can be good, bad, or some depend on how you look at them.

The action of looking at things positive or negative can make huge differences in your life. I have moved many times over the past years and they have been both good an bad. I loved it, I have hated it, and some where just because I wasn’t feeling where I was at right then. I was told that you are not a tree… you can move.

The ability to move is what gives me life. I know that some times you have to be more willing to give up or accept certain things when you do this, but it gives you amazing perspectives. You get to choose where you want to be happy, where you want to settle, and what parts of that place can shape you to who you are.

I think what I am trying to express right now is that you always have the ability to change your surroundings. I know that it may not seem like sometimes, and i have gone into debt to change mine, but I wouldn’t change anything I Have done to get to where I want to be tomorrow.

Comfort Zones

We all have comfort zones where you feel comfortable or safe. We all want or desire to push out of these, but it’s scary. The fear of change is scary because it’s unknown. The unknown is something that no one wants to deal with it because it’s not something you can get advice on, because it’s unknown.

The unknown can turn out to be incredibly scary or incredibly awesome. I have dealt with both of these spectrums when stepping out of my comfort zone. I used to say that I hated changed, but then I realized that your days are nothing but change. You wake up one morning and think it’s going to go exactly how yesterday went, but it doesn’t… and that’s change. You may not realize it but every day you have to go out of your comfort zone at some point. You may have to go to work a different route due to different circumstances, you have to have something different for a meal, or you go somewhere new due to an invitation. You expand your comfort zone without realizing it.

I realized this and it was a shock to me. I have moved many times in the last years and had to create new comfort zones. I had to find new places to live, to eat, change job locations, and meet new people. I ended up creating a new comfort area, and it was hard. I managed to find what and where I liked each time I moved, but it wasn’t easy. A lot of trail and error went into finding these places… usually error.

The error is what gives us the memories, learn what we do and don’t want from that point on, and changes us a little bit to be who we are after that moment. I realized that I do have comfort zones, but they aren’t what they used to be. I am learning to be ok with this… and maybe one day I won’t need these zones to be who I am.

Daily Struggles

We all have daily struggles. We all have our likes, dislikes, and demons that we deal with daily. They are what defines us, but can we change them?

We all struggle with the same things as humans, and that’s what draws us together as a common bond. We have all wondered if the person we like actually likes us back, we have all been short on money at some point even if it’s just to pay for something right then, and we have all hidden struggles from those around us.

I struggle with self-perception and love. I have a hard time loving myself, because I know that I am my own worst critic. I think this is a problem that we all have and it’s something that at least I struggle with daily. I look in the mirror and hate what I see. I look at my bank account and think I should have tried harder. I look at the people around me and wonder if they like me as much as I like them. I know this because I deal with these daily.

I have tried to run from these issues, hide these issues, and finally eat these issues. I know that dealing with all of these in the wrong way have hurt me or set me back in some way. I have to accept these things, try and be happy, and live my life for the fullest. I hope that everyone else who deals with struggles either internal or externally knows that they are not alone. You have to face them, and I will let you in on a secret… eating them doesn’t actually make them go away.

What is Happiness?

I have been asking myself this for the last 25+ years and I’m not much older than that. I have always wondering what is happiness? I remember seeing people as a child that looked happy, but I wondered if I was that happy.

I know that as a child getting a new toy, staying up past your bed time, or finding a new friend can all bring happiness, but as an adult all these things have repercussions. I bought a new car, and thought I was happy until I got the first car payment. I stayed up late to catch up with friends, and then had to decide if I wanted money or sleep the next day. I have come to realize that happiness as an adult and happiness as a child are not the same thing. I have struggled with this because I miss being happy like I was as a child. Can I be that as an adult?

I don’t know if I will ever know the answer to this question, but this is my pursuit to find out. I have tried to use many things to make me happy i.e: food, people, things, but realized later that it’s not something you can put in other people or things because it’s temporary. So… what really is happiness?

My Blog

This is my blog that helps me to express my feelings, thoughts, and moments in life. I have tried to deal with my issues in many different ways, and now I am going to try writing them. I hope that this can inspire at least one person to know that they aren’t alone in what they are going through.